LET’S say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.

Christopher Silas Neal

Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.

Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”

But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore” and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.

Here’s a visual: Child throws a temper tantrum. Tries to hit his mother. But the mother doesn’t hit back, lecture or punish. Instead, she ducks. Then she tries to go about her business as if the tantrum isn’t happening. She doesn’t “reward” the tantrum. She simply doesn’t take the tantrum personally because, after all, it’s not about her.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum. No. He was in the grip of something else — a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. For four months.

“I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did.”

His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, “I don’t buy it.” Because I didn’t.

He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.

So he turned mean. “I don’t like what you’ve become.”

Gut-wrenching pause. How could he say such a thing? That’s when I really wanted to fight. To rage. To cry. But I didn’t.

Instead, a shroud of calm enveloped me, and I repeated those words: “I don’t buy it.”

You see, I’d recently committed to a non-negotiable understanding with myself. I’d committed to “The End of Suffering.” I’d finally managed to exile the voices in my head that told me my personal happiness was only as good as my outward success, rooted in things that were often outside my control. I’d seen the insanity of that equation and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. And I mean all of it.

My husband hadn’t yet come to this understanding with himself. He had enjoyed many years of hard work, and its rewards had supported our family of four all along. But his new endeavor hadn’t been going so well, and his ability to be the breadwinner was in rapid decline. He’d been miserable about this, felt useless, was losing himself emotionally and letting himself go physically. And now he wanted out of our marriage; to be done with our family.

But I wasn’t buying it.

I said: “It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy. There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break. What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?” he said.

“Go trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you’ve always wanted. Anything but hurting the children and me with a reckless move like the one you’re talking about.”

Then I repeated my line, “What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?”

“How can we have a responsible distance?”

“I don’t want distance,” he said. “I want to move out.”

My mind raced. Was it another woman? Drugs? Unconscionable secrets? But I stopped myself. I would not suffer.

Instead, I went to my desk, Googled “responsible separation” and came up with a list. It included things like: Who’s allowed to use what credit cards? Who are the children allowed to see you with in town? Who’s allowed keys to what?

I looked through the list and passed it on to him.

His response: “Keys? We don’t even have keys to our house.”

I remained stoic. I could see pain in his eyes. Pain I recognized.

“Oh, I see what you’re doing,” he said. “You’re going to make me go into therapy. You’re not going to let me move out. You’re going to use the kids against me.”

“I never said that. I just asked: What can we do to give you the distance you need … ”

“Stop saying that!”

Well, he didn’t move out.

Instead, he spent the summer being unreliable. He stopped coming home at his usual six o’clock. He would stay out late and not call. He blew off our entire Fourth of July — the parade, the barbecue, the fireworks — to go to someone else’s party. When he was at home, he was distant. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He didn’t even wish me “Happy Birthday.”

But I didn’t play into it. I walked my line. I told the kids: “Daddy’s having a hard time as adults often do. But we’re a family, no matter what.” I was not going to suffer. And neither were they.

MY trusted friends were irate on my behalf. “How can you just stand by and accept this behavior? Kick him out! Get a lawyer!”

I walked my line with them, too. This man was hurting, yet his problem wasn’t mine to solve. In fact, I needed to get out of his way so he could solve it.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m a pushover. I’m weak and scared and would put up with anything to keep the family together. I’m probably one of those women who would endure physical abuse. But I can assure you, I’m not. I load 1,500-pound horses into trailers and gallop through the high country of Montana all summer. I went through Pitocin-induced natural childbirth. And a Caesarean section without follow-up drugs. I am handy with a chain saw.

I simply had come to understand that I was not at the root of my husband’s problem. He was. If he could turn his problem into a marital fight, he could make it about us. I needed to get out of the way so that wouldn’t happen.

Privately, I decided to give him time. Six months.

I had good days, and I had bad days. On the good days, I took the high road. I ignored his lashing out, his merciless jabs. On bad days, I would fester in the August sun while the kids ran through sprinklers, raging at him in my mind. But I never wavered. Although it may sound ridiculous to say “Don’t take it personally” when your husband tells you he no longer loves you, sometimes that’s exactly what you have to do.

Instead of issuing ultimatums, yelling, crying or begging, I presented him with options. I created a summer of fun for our family and welcomed him to share in it, or not — it was up to him. If he chose not to come along, we would miss him, but we would be just fine, thank you very much. And we were.

And, yeah, you can bet I wanted to sit him down and persuade him to stay. To love me. To fight for what we’ve created. You can bet I wanted to.

But I didn’t.

I barbecued. Made lemonade. Set the table for four. Loved him from afar.

And one day, there he was, home from work early, mowing the lawn. A man doesn’t mow his lawn if he’s going to leave it. Not this man. Then he fixed a door that had been broken for eight years. He made a comment about our front porch needing paint. Our front porch. He mentioned needing wood for next winter. The future. Little by little, he started talking about the future.

It was Thanksgiving dinner that sealed it. My husband bowed his head humbly and said, “I’m thankful for my family.”

He was back.

And I saw what had been missing: pride. He’d lost pride in himself. Maybe that’s what happens when our egos take a hit in midlife and we realize we’re not as young and golden anymore.

When life’s knocked us around. And our childhood myths reveal themselves to be just that. The truth feels like the biggest sucker-punch of them all: it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.

My husband had become lost in the myth. But he found his way out. We’ve since had the hard conversations. In fact, he encouraged me to write about our ordeal. To help other couples who arrive at this juncture in life. People who feel scared and stuck. Who believe their temporary feelings are permanent. Who see an easy out, and think they can escape.

My husband tried to strike a deal. Blame me for his pain. Unload his feelings of personal disgrace onto me.

But I ducked. And I waited. And it worked.

—————————————————–

Laura A. Munson is a writer who lives in Whitefish, Mont.

Taken from here

I just don’t understand why people seems to hate a gay guy.

Me my self, love to have such a gay friend. I used to have one, his name is Verol. He is a very loving boy, handsome, and always used branded perfume everytime he went out. He is a very cute guy. Unfortunately, he only loves man, not woman.

I remembered the day when we slept together one night, a day before my wedding day. We talked about everything, launghed at everything, and cried together on our sadness stories. He was my best friend… well, he IS my best friend, because until now, he’s still a best friend of mine.

Love your gray bag, darling

Anyway, for those who think that gay guy is a foe, I think you should think again. They are brilliant, and many of them have a perfect job and good carrier.

Yes, Indeed… for me… Gay Guy is woman best friend

What about you?

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:

” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered:

“Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”

He said:” I will give you your answer tomorrow….”

My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..”

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading…..

1. When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

2. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

3. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way back home.

4. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your Tummy.

5. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

6. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs.

7. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die..

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting…and as I continue on reading…

“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread…. Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love.

When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. .flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands.. and that’s our life..

Love, not words win arguments.

taken from here

This story reminds me about friendship and any kind of relationship.

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,

‘Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’

The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’

‘What’s the difference?’ Asked the puzzled father.

‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl.

‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,  you will never let my hand go.’

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours…

***

Walking in the world you came to me…

Perfect in all that you can be…

The glow in your eyes telling me

You cared for me

***

With each passing day

our friendship grew stronger

Chains surrounding, binding us together

Not for ill, but to keep us strong for each other

***

Day turns to night

and all I see…

… is you

***

The star light gleams off your pale skin

All hope and dreams of tomorrow surround us

They fill us with their golden song,

and silver words

***

The days and nights continue on and on

Marching forward with a ceaseless pace

***

One day it stopped

***

All that was my life halted in its tracks

The moments of peace that I had

Dreams of tomorrow,

of tonight, and yesterday

***

All were shattered within my mind

You are gone,… not to be seen

Night after night I wait for you

hoping and praying

***

Wanting you to come to me and smile

Wishing you would come home and say

“I miss you, my sweetypie”

***

As the days wore on, I knew it was true

I will not be able to see, the light in your eyes

The fire of love that kept us warm

will be forever cold

***

The angel inside your heart

is now shattered and gone for good

As I find you alone at home,

cold,.. ever so cold

***

The spirit within me… cries in anguish

As I kneel at your side, praying this isn’t true.

Here I am torn asunder,

how I will live.

***

Who can I love, when all that I was is now at my side?

Never will I be able to look to tomorrow..

Or hope for tonight’s stars,..

or dream of yesterday

***

Here I am torn apart over you….

Where can I go to find you?

Dear sahabat…

Enggg… rasanya gak tahan untuk gak bilang ini…

MY GOD… I MISSSSSS YOUUUU ALL, hehehe

Gosh,… Maap2… masih boleh jerit2 khan disini? (yaiyalahhh, masak yaolohtolonggg ? ).

Gak bisa diungkapin betapa rindunya saya sama blog ini, betapa gatalnya saya pengen menyapa semua satu persatu, memeluk yg lagi melow2 (cini..cini… silly hugs )… ngakak2 gila dirumah yg lagi seneng2, atau ikutan manggut2 (walaupun kadang2 gak ngerti) dirumah teman2 yg bicara ttg kerasnya hidup…

But, Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell you the reason why I couldn’t post anything for the past few days.

Wis tohhh ahhh, sing penting khan saya kembali lagi. Kali ini JELAS dengan semangat baru, hati yang baru dan tentu saja cara memandang dunia maya ini dari sudut pandang yang baru juga.

Sooooo….

Selama masa “perenungan” ini… (caelahhhh, mulai menye2 lagi… Taboks nih.. tabok!!… hahaha… ), saya belajar banyak hal. Sumpah, ini salah satu episode kehidupan yg menarik sekali untuk saya. Tentang bagaimana menghandle perasaan saya ketika saya berada pada situasi yg “underpressure”... (teken yg di”bawah” ), ketika saya harus kehilangan sahabat2 saya,… ketika saya “misunderstanding“ (yg dengan cerdas saya artikan sebagai “Nona Penuh Pengertian” , hahaha, suka2 gue..blog, blog gue ini ) dengan seseorang (clingak clinguk cari jasont) ,… saling lempar komen namun akhirnya berakhir dengan DAMAIII…

*shake hands lagi* (demen amat… bilang aja pengen, hahahahahha )

(Jreng… Jreng… *Rhoma Irama nongol*... “perdamaian… perdamaian… perdamaian perdamaian…” )

*tampar bolak balik biar gak lost focus* (ngelirik jasont lagi… sambil ngikik2 iblis ) )

Udah ahhh, tadinya teh cuma mo bikin puisi, numpahin uneg2 diminggu terakhir blog ini. Gak banyak yg bisa saya bilang selain…

You’re all the best friends I’ve ever have.

Seorang sahabat menulis disini, Persahabatan itu seperti CINTA… Ketika terlalu banyak atau terlalu sedikit bisa tergelincir dengan mudahnya menjadi benci. Garis tipis yang membatasinya tidak kelihatan, dan keadaan setimbang hanya bisa dijajaki dengan sangat hati-hati. Itu pun tidak sepenuhnya aman. Karena resiko jatuh selalu ada, dan di bawah sana tak ada jaring pengaman.

Akhirnya, buat semua sahabat, terima kasih banyak, blog ini tidak ada apa2nya tanpa kalian. Tidak akan banyak dikunjungin kalau bukan karena kalian yang ngomongin… “Ehhh, ada tante ibu muda yang tulisannya lucu banget, kocak abis, mampir dech:… dan makin banyaklah yg mampir.

***

UNTUK SAHABAT

Apakah anda tahu

hubungan antara 2 biji mata anda?

Mereka berkedip bersama,

bergerak bersama,

menangis bersama,

melihat bersama dan

tidur bersama…

meskipun mereka tidak pernah

melihat antara satu sama lain…

Persahabatan seharusnya seperti itu…

kehidupan bagai neraka

tanpa

Sahabat

love and hugs,

Silly tea…

PS:

Sekalian mo kasih tau… diriku sekarang lebih aktif menulis disini nihhh:

http://www.sillystupidlife.com

Mampir yahhhh…

Selamat Pagi Semuaaaaaaaaaaaa…

Aiiiihhhh…. maaf yachhh,… kemarin saya benar2 dalam keadaan Drop Luar Binasa (DLB) menghadapi PMS dan segala tetek bengek urusan domestik yg saya akhirnya tuangkan dalam tulisan dirumah yg satu lagi (disini banyak yg mampir nyari Dewi Persik soalnya, kalo baca tulisan itu pasti yg timbul dalam benak mereka – karena tak kenal maka tak sayang – adalah…

“Sokkkk banget sich nih perempuan, udah kayak yg paling cakep ajah, atau udah kek yg paling pinter nulis ajah”,

atau malah mungkin akan bilang,

“halahhh, sok seleb amat, selebriti aja gak gitu2 amat”… dsb

Well, understandable… but on the other side… I need to let it out… Saya butuh wadah untuk numpahin uneg2 saya… Lah silly kan manusia biasa juga, jadi boleh dong curhat (karna saya yakin, hanya yg benar2 sayang sama silly (cieeeehhh, hihihihi) yang bakalan capek2 mampir kesana…).

Sekarang udah lega dehhhh… I never let my sadness stay longger than oneday… begitu matahari terbit… Ya terbit lagi hati yg baru… hati yg penuh ucapan syukur karena masih dikasih kesempatan untuk menikmati hari baru ini.

Ok. So… tadi mo ngomong apa yach… (hehehehehehe, kalo punya temen kek gini langsung gue timpuk pake GINKOBILOBA sekarung, biar gak suka lupa mo ngomong apa… )

Hari ini, punten yach, ijinkan saya memulai dgn tulisan rada “dalem”… Mo konyol2an… ntar siang aje ye…

Dulu… Saya pernah bilang bahwa saya ingin menjadi POHON… Kenapa???:

Pohon itu selalu setia, tumbuh menjadi tempat bernaung bagi sekawanan burung dan hewan2 lainnya. Tahan terhadap terpaan panas dan dingin,… terhadap hujan dan salju… atau apapun yg terjadi… dia tidak pernah benar2 mati… bahkan… Dia terus bertumbuh dengan baik.

Pohon yg sering ditempa topan badai angin salju hujan dan panas terik, pasti akan bertumbuh menjadi Pohon yg kuat.

Semakin kuat anginnya, akan lebih keras batang kayu pohon itu…

Semakin kuat badainya, akan semakin kuat lagi pohonnya…

Begitu jugalah saya memaknai kehidupan saya ini. Semakin kita diuji,… seharusnya kita bersyukur, karena itu salah satu cara “PERSONAL TRAINER” kita (a.k.a GOD), melatih kita agar kita kuat menghadapi kehidupan kita berikutnya…

Hidup ini keras, banyak yg akan kita hadapi didepan nantinya… jadi kalo kita menye2… Kelaut aja dechhhhh…. Hehehehehe… (ini buat yg curhat sama gue kemarin malam… be strong, my dear).

Dimana Pohon ini bertumbuh… lama kelamaan hutanpun akan tumbuh disekelilingnya.

Membangun hutan berarti membangun komunitas sendiri. Artinya… Jangan peduli pada org yg tidak suka, as long as you think that you’ve done your best... Cari sahabatmu, lalu bentuk komunitasmu… (Saya ingat salah satu finalis Putri Indonesia 2008 pernah mengatakan ini… ).

Ohya… kalo gak salah marshallryan pernah menuliskan koment yg bagus banget diposting saya ttg belajar dari sekolah kehidupan… disini

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right,

forget about ones who don’t.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.

If it changes you, let it be.
Nobody said it’d be easy,

they just promised it’d be WORTH IT..

- anonymous -

Soooo…. Why worried my dear… saya sudah lebih dulu menjalani dari kamu mungkin, jadi sekarang saya jadi lebih riang dan ringan menjalani apapun yg “came up” in my life...

Pohon yg tidak pernah “berjuang”… I mean… ditempatkan ditempat yg nyaman… tidak pernah melihat matahari dan langit, juga tidak mendapat cahaya dan udara yg cukup, tidak pernah akan tumbuh menjadi pohon yg kuat… Apalagi menjadi “RAJA HUTAN”... (itu baru namanya Ke-PEDE-an… )

Artinya… Seorg Wanita/Pria… yg tidak pernah bekerja keras, tiak pernah harus berjuang untuk mendapatkan Matahari, udara dan cahaya yg cukup (semua didapatkan dengan instant dan mudah) tidak akan tumbuh menjadi wanita/pria yg kuat, berani dan gagah (pria)… Dia hanya akan hidup… dan kemudian pada akhirnya… Mati… Tanpa melakukan hal-hal yg berarti…

Pohon tidak pernah berpindah tempat… walaupun kita sudah pergi melanglangbuana, ketika kita kembali… dia tetap ada disana… berdiri kokoh, menantang badai… tetap setia menjadi tempat berteduh bagi semua, walaupun dahan2nya banyak yg patah, dan tubuhnya penuh luka akibat sayatan pisau tangan2 jahil… tapi dia tetap pohon yg sama…

Ini khusus untuk kamu (Mr. SA)**… Silly tetap setia pada pasangannya, jadi buat apa lagi mengganggu silly? Thank you so much for your attention & big love, but I’m not your soulmate, pasti ada perempuan yg pas bgt buat mas diluar sana. Oke? *shake hands* (hahaha… CCTT alias Curhat Colongan Tingkat Tinggi ).

So, masih mo mengeluh akan masalah2 hidupmu???… Ke gunung aja gihhh… (jangan kelaut!!!!… SEMUA CEWEK MATRE udah gue suruh kelaut ajeee… ntar lautnya kepenuhan orang kalo loe kelaut juga, hahahaha… )

*ditimpuk spatu dari seluruh penjuru negeri*

HOLD ON… HOLD ON… Ennnggg… number 38 please, kalo bisa yg mereknya Manolo Blahnik yach… (huuu, silly… kelaut ajahhhh… hahahaha)

*big grin*

*ditimpuk lagi, sandal bekas kepasar… (sapiiiii) *

Selamat memulai hari…

semoga hari ini menyenangkan untuk anda,

Love and hugs,

Silly

Duhhh, subuh2 kok ngomongin kalajengking?

Hehehehe.. sebetulnya malam ini saya harus brangkat kesuatu tempat, tapi karna sesuatu dan lain hal.. delay sampai pagi ini.

Jadi sambil menunggu, saya buka2 arsip lama… dan menemukan artikel ini…

Ceritanya, ada seorang pendeta India yang kebetulan melihat seekor kalajengking mengambang berputar-putar di air. Ia memutuskan untuk menolong kalajengking itu keluar dengan mengulurkan jarinya, tetapi kalajengking itu menyengatnya.

Orang itu masih tetap berusaha mengeluarkan kalajengking itu keluar dari air, tetapi binatang itu lagi-lagi menyengat dia. Seorang pejalan kaki yang melihat kejadian itu mendekat dan melarang orang India itu menyelamatkan kalajengking yang terus saja menyengat orang yang mencoba menyelamatkannya.
Tetapi orang India itu berkata, “Secara alamiah kalajengking itu menyengat. Secara alamiah saya ini mengasihi. Mengapa saya harus melepaskan naluri alamiah saya untuk mengasihi gara-gara kalajengking
itu secara alamiah menyengat saya?”

* * * * *

Jangan berhenti mengasihi,
Jangan menghentikan kebaikan anda,
Bahkan meskipun ketika orang-orang lain menyengat anda.

SALAM CINTA,

Silly

]]> http://sillystupidlife.wordpress.com/2008/06/11/kalajengking/feed/ 69 Silly a024-cartoon-scorpion.jpg http://sillystupidlife.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/sketsa-asal-asalan/ http://sillystupidlife.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/sketsa-asal-asalan/#comments Thu, 01 May 2008 20:23:27 +0000 Silly http://sillystupidlife.wordpress.com/?p=217 ]]>

Iseng-iseng nih…

Sumpah, ini bener2 iseng, secara, mo tidur juga udah pagi (dah mo jam 4 subuh) jadi udah nanggung, so… selain Blog Walking, baca buku dan dengerin lagu, saya mencoba menggambar sketsa wajah… tapi ternyata saya gak cukup pandai, secara… begitu sampe pada gambar alisnya, kok jadi keingat seseorang sich…

Ahhhh… gak jadi saya terusin…

Tapi sayang juga kalo hasilnya gak saya post disini, So… dengan malu2 kucing, ini dia hasil sketsa gak penting saya pagi ini…

**ngasah badik ama clurit, kalo2 ada yang BERANI ngenye2 karya gue**

Gbr ini diambil menggunakan kamera Hp Nokia N73

Hayo… berani ngenyek2… nyawa anda taruhannya

Yang mo muji silahkan comment, tapi yang mo nyela, tunggu saya dilapangan sebelah, kita selesaikan secara betina…

ahakahkahakhakahkahakahakhakahak )

Duhhh… Michael Buble… Aku padamu… Just relax and enjoy this…

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

(duh, jadi pengen pulang kampung…

ke paris, roma… ahakahakahakakahak )

Hmmm…

Saya mulai jengah sama nama yang saya create sendiri ketika saya sedang EMOSI… saya gak nyangka kalo banyak yang baca tulisan sampah kayak gini… dan tiap kali saya mampir ke blog orang… saya sendiri mulai risih menyebutkan nama… SILLY-STUPID…

Benera kata mbak Miund, melalui email saya ke mbak Miund… saya dapat masukan yang baik sekali… mengingatkan saya pada kata2 yg saya sering ucapkan sendiri… BAHWA KATA2 KITA itu seperti MANTRA… And Miund juga mengingatkan saya untuk selalu berpikir positif… which is udah sering kali saya sebut2 sebagai motto hidup saya, tapi terkadang… dalam keadaan galau… SAYA MALAH LUPA sama semua ilmu2 itu… (makasih banyak ya Und… saya mungkin bukan sahabat dekat miud, tapi saya pembaca setia dan sangat kagum sama tulisan2 mbak miund ).

SO… PERMISI… saya mo minta saran… kira2 nama yg pas apa yach baiknya…

Tolong kasih masukan dong… (kalo udah ada kita tumpengan dech, hehehe)

Thanks before and after,

-silly pretty- (usulan mbak Miund… thanks again Jeung! ).

Hai.. hai... duhh, kemarin saya seharian gak bisa akses komputer… ada trouble sedikit, hehehe… enggak deng, lagi ada tugas yang harus saya kejar dan kelarkan hari itu juga… Hingga larut sekitar jam 8.00 baru selesai. Nanti dech saya ceritain… another good lesson for me….

Anyway… itu judulnya kok tersenyum ama bapak satpam… Lah, kok mesti sama bapak satpam?

Hmmm…. Gini,…

Tiap pagi,… setelah kegitan rutin saya “ngejar2 maling pagi2″,… biasanya after taking a shower, saya melanjutkan kegiatan menjadi sopir

Dalam perjalanan mengantar tuan putri cilik yang cubby dibelakang saya ini, saya suka memperhatikan mobil2 yang lain yang kebetulan harus melewati pos sekurity.

“Selamat pagi, silahkan…”

Pak satpam menarik tali sehingga portal penutup gate sampai bisa terbuka, tersenyum dan mempersilahkan pengendara berlalu…

Sebelum pos sekurity tersebut, ada papan bertuliskan “KACA HARAP DIBUKA”. Nah, coba perhatiin dech, ada nggak yang buka kaca… GAK ADA!!! (sumprittttt… )

Saya sempat berfikir,… haduh, apa susahnya sich buka kaca,… hanya untuk menyapa bapak2 ini, yang sudah sepanjang malam berkeliling, yang tiap 15 menit berkeliling, menjaga agar tidur kita bisa nyenyak dan tidak terjaga… dan supaya kita tidak terganggu karena harus giliran siskamling.

Small things begin from our initiative…

So, tiap pagi… (meskipun kaca mobil saya suka seret karena pernah dihajar ojek dari samping (hehehhe) ), saya selalu membiasakan diri membuka kaca,… tersenyum,… sambil menyapa pak satpam yang kebetulan berjaga saat itu.

Saya: *nurunin kaca*… “Selamat pagi Pak”

Pak Satpam: *kaget, bercampur senang*… “Eh, selamat pagi Bu XYZ”

Saya: (lahhh, dia tahu nama gue yah, hehehe)… “Mari Pak Mustopha” (hasil ngelirik name tag disaku kanannya, hehehe)

Pak Satpam: “Mari, mari bu, silahkan, semoga selamat ya bu”

(Sompretttt… die ngedoain gue apa ngeledekin gue yah, secara nich mobil emang baru2 ini bolak balik klaim asuransi kecelakaan (minggu lalu adalah kali yang ke 3 perthn 2008 ini mobil saya masuk bengkel, hehehe),

Saya: (positive thinking sambil terus tersenyum)… “Iya, makasih pak Mus..”

And Guess what… sambutan yang jauh lebih hangat dan senyuman yang berbinar terpancar dari wajah belum tidur mereka itu merupakan energi yang luar biasa untuk saya memulai aktivitas hari ini.

And likewise, terpikirkah betapa bermaknanya sapaan dan senyuman kita buat mereka, sebagai bentuk pernyataan kita akan penghargaan bagi mereka???….

Kalau saya yang jadi satpam, saya akan bangga sekali jika ada yang menyebut nama saya (Secara… saya ini satpam narsis, hahahahahahaha…), membalas sapaan saya dengan menyebut nama saya, seolah saya ini berharga buat mereka, walaupun saya hanya seorang… SATPAM.

Kalau anda bekerja dikantor, anda pasti setuju jika klien anda senang banget ketika anda menyebutkan nama klien anda tersebut disela2 percakapan anda…. (hayo, diinget2 lagi training customer care-nya )

Soooo….

Hanya dengan simple effort, hanya sedikit senyuman, plus sedikit keahlian jari telunjuk dalam memencet tombol power window mobil anda (dah gak pake ngengkol kaca jendela lagi khan???),… anda sudah men-TRANSFER ENERGI POSITIVE bagi pak satpam ini…

And who knows,…Energi ini bisa menjadi kekuatan baru buat si bapak memulai harinya… atau malah menutup harinya (karena semalaman sudah bergadang berkeliling rumah anda tiap 15 menit, untuk memastikan tidak ada satuhal pun yang mengganggu kenyamanan tidur anda), dan kembali kerumah,… mentransfer energy positive yang sudah anda tebarkan pagi itu… ke tengah2 keluarganya.

Mari kita hitung secara matematis, saya dari rumah,… untuk sampai kesekolah anak saya… melewati 3 pos Jaga… (padahal jaraknya deket, hanya beda Cluster ). Sampai sekolahan anak saya, Si tuyul kecil ini mesti diserahterimakan digerbang sekolah (tidak boleh dianter masuk), jadi saya bertemu 1 lagi satpam pagi ini… total ENERGI AFEKSI (kasih sayang) yang saya terima dari Pak Satpam ini selama PERGI-PULANG, adalah 7 SENYUMAN... Hmmmm, ENERGY YANG LUAR BIASA buat saya untuk memulai hari…

Terbayang gak berapa banyak ENERGI AFEKSI yang diterima si BAPAK SATPAM yang menjaga Komplex anda (yang pastinya sudah berjaga sejak semalaman)… YANG AKAN DIA BAWA PULANG… dan dia BAGIKAN buat anak istrinya dirumah…

Terbayang juga gak berapa banyak ENERGI AFEKSI yang diterima satpam disekolah anak anda, YANG AKAN DIA TRANSFER LAGI.. dalam melayani anak2 anda disekolah???…

Sooo… mari budayakan TERSEYUM PADA BAPAK SATPAM STIAP PAGI…

Pak Satpam,… selamat pagi,… senyum dan hormat silly untuk anda semua…

Selamat Pagi Indonesia Semua,

Hari ini saya, Silly,… mo ngadain upacara sendiri dirumah saya sendiri. Pemimpin upacara,… ya Saya sendiri, peserta upacara,… ya saya juga, (ama kalian kalo ada yang mo ikutan)… Penggerek bendera, PASKIBRA thn 98 (wakakakakakak, wis tuek… eh bukan gue, orang lain… ada dehhh),… Komandan upacara, engg… saya juga… (mulai gak pede)… Paduan Suara (Engggg, tadinya sich mo manggil DEWI PERSIK ama ANNISA BAHAR, secara mereka berdua udah pernah saya omongin disini, tapi berhubung mereka sibuk menghadapi kasus pencekalannya yang sudah merambah sampe kebandung (sukurin, ehhh, uppps… gak boleh ya… iya, maap… maap, hihihi),… Maka saya bermaksud mengundang TRIO MACAN… tapi ternyata mereka juga gak bisa karena sedang sibuk menggambar loreng2nya yang luntur gara2 manggung di bogor keguyur ujan… hakhakahakhakak), Manggil Mayank, duhhh, die lagi… Sibukkk bokkk…. lagi ngebangun kerajaannya sendiri di purwokerto… (**ngiri deh gue**)… Hmmm, saya aja dech yang nyanyi…)

Oke… Terinspirasi dari tulisan mas Priyadi disini, dan terutama mas Budi Raharjo yang Kesohor itu (I mean, siapa sich bok yang gak kenal dia… **nyembah-nyembah**, hehehe…) yang diberikan oleh TIKA, duhhh, makasih ya jeung supportnya, maka dengan ini saya, SILLY, perempuan jalang yang suka ngejalang di blog sendiri dan blog orang, dengan ini MEMPROKLAMIRKAN KEMERDEKAAN SILLY as a blogger dengan apel pagi ini.

(catatan kaki (fotenote) silly: NGEJALANG artinya Saya suka KOMENTAR PANJANG2 dan suka gak punya rem kalo nulis komentar, hehehehe).

Pertama, Menyanyikan lagu kebangsaan dipimpin oleh…. (clingak clinguk masih ngarep DEWI PERSIK, ANNISA BAHAR, MAYANK SARI atau minimal TRIO MACAN, mo hadir dan memimpin lagu kebangsaan… Eh yang datang mbak INUL DARATISTA… monggo mbak… )

(Pssst… Kang PURWACARAKA… tolong nada dasarnya dari C (se),… iya… dari Ce-buah desa, ahakahkahakhakhakhakhakhakhakhak *garing* ). Mbak Inul tarik mbakkkk….

ada yang benci dirinya
ada yang butuh dirinya
ada yang berlutut menyintanya
ada pula yang kejam menyiksa dirinya
kini hidup wanita si kupu kupu malam jalang
bekerja bertarung seluruh jiwa raga
bibir senyum kata halus merayu memanja
kepada setiap mereka yang datang
dosakah yang dia kerjakan
sucikah mereka yang datang
kadang dia tersenyum dalam tangis
kadang dia menangis di dalam senyuman
oo apa yang terjadi terjadilah
yang dia tahu Tuhan menyayang umatnya
oo apa yang terjadi terjadilah
yang dia tahu hanyalah menyambung nyawa ngeblogggggg…..

Oke… Selanjutnya Pembacaan Proklamasi Kemerdekaan Blog Silly (Permisi, mas priyadi, Ijin nyontek proklamasinya yach, hehehe… kita khan pren khan???… iya khan???… iya gak sich???… (mulai gak pede)… Enggak yach???… (drop) ahhh, sutralah… yang penting saya udah ijin yo kangmas… pinjam yach… Udah senunduk ini, kalo gak diijinin awas ajah… hehehe… Kidding ).

Proklamasi,

Kami penoelis blog dengan ini menjatakan kemerdekaaan penoelis blog.

Hal-hal jang mengenai pemindahan kekoeasaan d.l.l., diselenggarakan dengan tjara seksama dan dalam tempo jang sesingkat-singkatnya.

Jakarta, hari 17 boelan 8 tahoen 08

Atas nama penoelis blog,

Silly – yg udah gak – Stupid

(PS juga:… seperti halnya mas Priyadi, Proklamasi kemerdekaan silly ini harusnya dideklarasikan saat hari kemerdekaan tahun lalu, atau barangkali saat pertama kali launching blog ini, tapi yahhh, again… lebih baik terlambat daripada tidak samasekali tohhhh… ).

Terakhir, Doa dibacakan oleh… (clingak-clinguk nyari AA Gym, tapi tampaknya doi sibuk menenangkan diri pasca gossip perceraiannya dengan Teh Ninik, ya udah atuh AA, menenangkan diri dulu aja dech… Kata pakdhe Aroengbinang, berdiam itu bisa sambil membuang hawa2 BUSUK dari dalam hati… selamat merenung ya Aa’ ). Wissss… doa masing2 aja lah kalo begitu

Saya doakan semoga anda yang masuk blog ini, datang dengan hati yang bersih… mencari hiburan, jika menghibur alhamdulillah, jika tidak, tinggalkan blog ini dan jangan kotori hati anda dengan sampah yang ada dirumah ini. Jangan repot-repot memonguti sampah disini, karena saya gak mau menjadikan anda my trashbin… I’ve had it one already… it’s GOD. Dialah yang akan membersihkan sampah2 saya.

Anda hanya perlu membaca, tersenyum, kalo gak lucu, ya tinggalin tanpa bawa2 amarah dan dengki dalam hati anda…

Saya bukan malaikat, saya bukan santa, jadi maafkan salah dan dosa saya. And after that, let me be my self. I know What I do.

Dengan berakhirnya doa saya, maka apel pagi ini saya nyatakan selesai. Terima kasih untuk seluruh peserta upacara… silahkan menikamti hidangan yang disajikan yach…

Semalam… After ngobrol panjang lebar luas dalam besar kecil berat ringan dengan lelaki yang akhirnya genap 60 thn ini…. saya jadi mikir sendiri… bener juga yach… saya ini PENIPU…

Ps:… posting ini penekanannya tolong jangan pada Si Roy-nya… (padahal emang iya juga sich… aarrrhhhgggg… maap… maap… tapi baca sampe abis dech… baru nyadar kalo saya bener2 gak ngomongin Roy… ).

(diskusi dilakukan after rekonsiliasi paska posting comment beliau yg diedit dengan bantuan sahabat mayaku yang baik tikabanget ituh … sambil blog walking dan menemukan posting Mas Iman Brotoseno disini dan posting lucu2an ala Chika, maka dengan ini saya pikir saya harus JUJUR kalo mo selamat dunia akhirat (hayooo… dah mulai penasaran khan sapa saya??? **kedip2 mata*) )

Ehh, sumpah mampus,… tujuh turunan delapan tanjakan (lagi) kalo saya mo ngegosipin Roy Suryo… ndak lahhhh… cauapekkkk… Tau nggak… Kata papa lelaki mantan pacar ibu perempuan yang dulu mbrojolin saya ini (halah,… saya udah berusaha ngak bawa2 keluarga kok ya teteup aja lari kesono… hehehe… maaf!!!) Roy sekarang lagi ngetawain kita semua… kalo namanya udah mulai redup2… Doi melempar pernyataan2 yang bisa bikin kita semua para blogger/bloggerwati dan wordpresser pada kebakaran jenggot…

…. Edited…. no more about Roy… banyak yang eneg…

Kadang, menurut saya yang stupid ini…. kita mesti melihat segala hal dengan bijak, maksudnya gini,… dalam beberapa kejadian dimana ada pihak2 yang bertikai, orang lebih mudah bersimpati pada pihak yang LEMAH daripada yang BENAR (hoi… hoiiii… Misi mbakkkk… situ khan lagi bawa misi jadi orang silly and stupid… jadi… berperanlah seperti layaknya orang stupid… jangan sok cerdas dech, bukan apa2… Gak Pantes!!! … hehehe… Oh iya… Maap… maap… trimakasih sudah mengingatkan saya ).

**angguk2 kepala**

**lempar granat lagi**

Eh, ini hanya menurut pengamatan saya aja loh, mungkin aja saya salah… tapi kalo boleh ngasih contoh… INUL DARATISTA misalnya… Haduh bokkkk, males banget gue ngeliat goyangannya, SUMPAH!!! Apalagi SUARANYA, bergetar2 NGEHE dan gak PITCH gitu… nteu pararuguh pisan khan???… Tapi begitu dia tertindas oleh RAJA DANGDUT, idolamu itu *kedip2 mata*… Lahhhh, sumprittt, anyingg… Saya malah jatuh kasihan ama doi… dan pernah dengan tololnya (jangan ketawa… AWAS!!!) mengirimkan fax dukungan untuk teteup goyang ngebor di jakarta… Ahakhakahakhkak, emang stupid saya ini… tapi saya emang mudah kasihan pada pihak yang tertindas (yang gak tertindas aja gue suka kasihan, hehehe…)

Pasca peristiwa Pencekalan INUL DARATISTA ini… DANGDUT justru malah jadi musik favorite para executive muda… Dan yang paling biadab adalah… Tiap kali ada acara kantor, bos2 dikantor pasti nyanyi lagu… “DIKOCOK2“nya INUL… (hiiiiii, pinjam ember dong),… atau Jatuh Bangun-nya Kristina (duhhh, bok,… gue juga jadi suka lagu ini… habis yang nyanyinya masih rada2 sopan dan gak pake ngebor2 atau goyang patah2 gitu… Kata2nya lumayan “Lucu” (Secara… jatuh bangun ngejar2 lelaki???, duhhh… penting ya bok??? )… Plus tiap acara, hukumnya WAJIB!!!, kalo mo nilai PK akhir tahun A+, wakakakakakak)

Yang berikut malah bikin gue pengen buru-buru resign dari kantor gue…

“Para penonton… bapak2… ibu2… semua yang ada disini… ada yang bilang, dangdut tak goyang bagai sayur tanpa garam, kurang enak kurang sedep. Karna itu INUL goyang… agar semuanya senang… blablabla…”

(gile yeee, dah berapa tahun tuhhh, masih apal ajah, ahakahkahakhak )

Secara… dengan cerdasnya kata “INUL” diganti dengan nama tuh bos… let’s say his name is “Indra” (halah… dia lagi… dia lagi ), maka nama inul diganti dengan… “Karna itu INDRA goyang… agar semuanya senang…. blablabla..”

Arrrrggghhhh…. Haduhhhhh…. muntah gue bokkkk, sumpritt…

Sekarang peristiwa kayak gitu terjadi lagi. Maaf, saya bukan pendukung DEWI PERSIK… tapi kejadian dicekalnya dia di TANGERANG (tempat bung RANO jadi WATI.. eh, apa kabar DOLBON-nya bung, ahakahkahakahakhak… maaf, slip of my tounge… eh slip of my fingers ), membuat dukungan buat doi jadi mengalir deras… Padahal celotehan2annya yg nantangin ulama di tipi2 menurut saya sudah diluar batas kesopanan… Terlalu KEPEDEAN dech mbak kayaknya… (mo bilang muak, takut ada yang marah… ahhh, gak enak juga yach kalo blog banyak yang baca… tiap nulis sibukkkk aja mikirin… ini bakalan nyakitin orang gak yach… ini bakalan bikin orang tersinggung gak yach??? arrrggghhhh…, hehehe… maap… CURHAT COLONGAN, hihihi… ).

So… hahaha, kejauhan dech kayaknya gue ngalor ngidul gak penting…

My point is… be a little bit wise on This Roy Suryo’s case. Gak mau khan dia jadi banyak yang ngedukung??? Sementara kita2 sebagai pihak yang benar, malah makin jelek namanya karna disangka keroyokan…

Eh ya oloh… saya tadi mo JUJUR soal siapa diri saya khan???… Saya ini ndak stupid sebetulnya… JUJUR nich… saya punya banyak perusahaan… Gak percaya khan???… Saya sebetulnya punya usaha SALON ANAK2… Kiddy Cut gitu dech… coba check disini , punya Group Band juga… silahkan checkbebichek disini, saya juga punya toko “Gift Shop” yang menjual perlengkapan party… jika anda beruntung mungkin juga akan menemukan G-Strings disini (my favourite underwear when using dress… gak nyeplak soalnya, hehehe ).

Saya juga mengelola blog yang menawarkan Free Scholarship buat yang mo belajar ke United State, check aja disini

So… saya ndak stupid2 amat toh???, wakakakakakakakakakak

(ps:… yang eneg about roy… itu udah maksimal gue edit… yang gak suka… skip ajah ahhh, pusing gue lama2… hehehe)

Aku meneteskan airmata

bagiMu Tuhan

Air Mata…

Karena aku tak dapat bicara

Kata-kata hilang dalam

ketakutanku,

Kepedihan,

Duka,

Kesakitan,

Kehilangan,

Bercampur bersama penatku

Kasihani aku

Tuhan,…

Hapuslah air mataku

Bukan diwaktu

yang masih lama datangnya

Tetapi Sekarang….

Disini….

Aku butuh engkau Tuhan…

–Silly–